Very often I hear people in relationships say things to one another along the lines of "You complete me." Even I've occasionally asked a married friend "How is your better half?" The sentiment is simple, and innocent enough, I guess: that your boyfriend or girlfriend has fulfilled a missing piece of you, that you're finally whole, etc.
It's just not how relationships work.
Let's talk about this with math.
The "You Complete Me" mentality is best expressed with the equation .5 + .5 = 1
Simple enough, right? You're one half, they're the other half, together you make one complete relationship. Easy.
The problem is that relationships are way way way too complex and intricate to be expressed with a plus sign. You and your partner will talk, laugh, argue, make out, meet each other's friends, meet each other's parents, fangirl over the same things, fangirl over different things, judge the pros and cons of each other's respective fangirldoms, etc.
So a plus sign? Not quite. Relationships are way too complex for that.
They're more akin to a multiplication sign.
So what really ends up happening isn't .5 + .5 = 1
What happens is .5 x .5 = .25
If you're going into a relationship expecting someone to 'complete' you, you're just one half. But 1/2 times 1/2 is 1/4! You end up with even less than you had before!
And that's just textbook Not A Good Thing.
But here's the thing. If you're already 'complete'--that is, confident, happy, independent, engaged in your own hobbies, pursuing your own dreams, etc--then you're a 1. And if your partner is the same way, then (s)he's also a 1.
And 1 x 1 = 1
And that sounds like a pretty happy relationship to me.
It's just not how relationships work.
Let's talk about this with math.
The "You Complete Me" mentality is best expressed with the equation .5 + .5 = 1
Simple enough, right? You're one half, they're the other half, together you make one complete relationship. Easy.
The problem is that relationships are way way way too complex and intricate to be expressed with a plus sign. You and your partner will talk, laugh, argue, make out, meet each other's friends, meet each other's parents, fangirl over the same things, fangirl over different things, judge the pros and cons of each other's respective fangirldoms, etc.
So a plus sign? Not quite. Relationships are way too complex for that.
They're more akin to a multiplication sign.
So what really ends up happening isn't .5 + .5 = 1
What happens is .5 x .5 = .25
If you're going into a relationship expecting someone to 'complete' you, you're just one half. But 1/2 times 1/2 is 1/4! You end up with even less than you had before!
And that's just textbook Not A Good Thing.
But here's the thing. If you're already 'complete'--that is, confident, happy, independent, engaged in your own hobbies, pursuing your own dreams, etc--then you're a 1. And if your partner is the same way, then (s)he's also a 1.
And 1 x 1 = 1
And that sounds like a pretty happy relationship to me.
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